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One of the reasons a gambling disorder can do so much harm is that it’s often difficult to recognise. While alcoholism and drug abuse can more easily be identified, those dealing with a gambling harm often hide their struggle.
Understanding what they’re going through
It’s often easier to judge than to understand. But if you want to help someone you know with a gambling disorder, the first step is to understand what they have been going through. This can be difficult especially if it is a loved one who you discover has been engaging in deceit or worse, their gambling has harmed yourself and others by jeopardising your financial security.
While their reckless gambling may not reflect it, someone with a gambling disorder will often be dealing with great shame and guilt, especially if they know their gambling has been harming the well-being of family and friends. Often these feelings of guilt and shame only exacerbate the issue leading them to gamble more as a way of coping.
Many people with a gambling disorder may also chase their losses as a way of coping with their guilt and shame, feeling that if they could just get the money back it would solve the problem.
Understanding what you’re going through
Helping someone recover from a gambling disorder is emotionally demanding. As important as it is for you to understand what they are going through, it’s equally as important for you to understand what you are going through yourself.
Learning that someone you have trusted has been engaging in deceit and putting your own wellbeing and your relationship at risk can cause intense feelings of anger and hurt. It’s perfectly understandable to feel these emotions.
As important as it is for you to empathise and not judge, it’s just as important for you to not blame yourself. Many impacted by the gambling of others will wonder how they didn’t see the signs earlier or perhaps blame themselves for not addressing the curious behaviour earlier.
It’s also important to keep in mind that while the person with the gambling disorder may desire to change and may be showing progress in their recovery, like any other disorder, there is the potential for relapse. This is often disappointing for those trying to help in their recovery. However it can also be seen as a way of further understanding why they gamble and a better understanding of how to approach their recovery.
How to raise the issue
The first step is to stress to the person with the disorder that your concern comes from a place of love and care, that you are not judging them and that you are addressing the issue because you worry for their wellbeing.
Feeling that you want to understand rather than judge, they will be more likely to speak openly and honestly about their gambling. If you approach with judgement and confrontation, they are more likely to resist any help and will often deny there is a problem at all.
Maintaining a positive approach that displays concern and empathy, while difficult to do, will help you plan a way forward. In many cases, creating a space where they can speak honestly will come as a relief for them.
It’s also important to let them know how you are feeling. Let them know the hurt you are feeling for both you and them, how it causes you pain to know how they has been suffering in silence.
Most of all listen. If they are opening up, give them the space to continue to speak. Let them tell their story.
Protect your finances
Once you have learned of the issue it’s important to take steps to ensure the security of your finances. This can be as simple as changing your passwords and keeping them secure, especially if you have joint financial accounts.
There is also the potential for your bank to block transactions to and from betting sites. Simply contact your bank or financial institution to learn what they can do to assist you with this.
Block Access to bookmakers and casinos
It can also be a good idea to install gambling blocking software on as many devices as possible to lower the risk of relapse.
There are apps such as GamBan that will block access to betting sites while a service such as GamStop that once registered, the user will be unable to access betting sites.
Finding Support
Finding the right type of support is crucial for recovery. There are three types of support generally available. These are:
Personal Counselling
One on one therapy conducted with a professional who has a background in treating gambling harm can be a great way of coming to terms with the problem, learning what triggers the behaviour and working towards recovery.
Support Groups
Many people with a gambling disorder suffer alone. Support groups are a great way for people with a gambling disorder to share their own story but likewise, a way to learn from the experiences of others, to bond and recognise they’re not alone.
Residential Stay
Residential support programmes provide those with a gambling disorder with an environment in which they can feel removed from the temptation of gambling while surrounded by the support of counsellors and others in the programme seeking treatment.
What to do now?
If you believe someone you know is struggling with a gambling disorder, do not hesitate to reach out to one of the many organisations providing assistance.
GamCare and BeGambleAware offer online resources that can help you decide what is the best direction to take.
You can also call the National Gambling Helpline for free, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week on 0808 8020 133.
Safer Gambling Week at bettingexpert
